


Belly of the Beast

by Siria



Category: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999), Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-29
Updated: 2012-02-29
Packaged: 2017-10-31 21:45:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/348668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siria/pseuds/Siria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve's sitting in his office, working his way through a backlog of requisition forms, when the door flies open so hard that the glass in the frame shudders.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Belly of the Beast

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gyzym](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gyzym/gifts).



> Thanks to Trinityofone for betaing! ♥ I freely admit that this is an entirely, entirely ridiculous and improbable crossover, but it seemed like a good idea at eleven o'clock at night—as so many things do.

Steve's sitting in his office, working his way through a backlog of requisition forms, when the door flies open so hard that the glass in the frame shudders. He's on his feet, sidearm out of its holster, before he has time to process. The woman standing in front of him doesn't look like much of a threat, no visible weapon, and though there's fury in every line of her body, he doesn't sense any immediate physical aggression from her.

He reholsters his gun. "Can I help you?"

"You're damn right you can," the woman says. She smacks a picture down on his desk and Steve looks down to see a snapshot of him and Cath, taken one of the last times she was back on the island on leave. The two of them had knocked back several Longboards by that point; their arms were wrapped round one another and they were beaming for the camera, with the rest of his team ranged around them at the table in various states of sobriety.

Steve blinks at the photo for a moment, and then back up at the woman. "I'm sorry, I don't—"

"What the hell are you doing with my little sister?" the woman snaps.

Now Steve's seriously confused. As far as he knows, Cath doesn't have any siblings, let alone an older sister, and besides, theirs is an open relationship in which everything is safe, sane, and consensual. Hell, it's mostly Cath who uses the strap-on. "Listen, Cath's fine, she's stationed in Bangkok right now and—"

"I know where Cath is," the woman says, scowling at him. She has a way of pinning you to the spot with her glare that would make his BUD/S instructors proud. "Where do you think I met her? But I'm not talking about her," she says, jabbing at the lefthand side of the picture, where Kono is laughing and tucking a cocktail umbrella behind Jenna's ear. "I'm talking about my sister, Bianca."

**********

It's the best day of Danny Williams' life.

And yes, yes, he'll grant you that he's being a little hyperbolic here, because there was his honeymoon with Rachel and the first time he got to hold his little girl in his arms and when he graduated from the academy, his pop and his ma sitting in the front row so proud. But let's look at the evidence here: he's got Chin with that expression on his face like he's trying to repress gales of laughter, Steve looking flummoxed, and a woman with a long mane of curly hair and an impressively sharp tongue engaged in a blistering argument with Jenna for reasons that surpass Danny's understanding. Not what he'd been expecting to encounter when he walked into the building, but it was either watch this go down or head into his office and do paperwork, and beggars, choosers, yadda yadda.

Steve tries to intervene every now and then, attempting to get to the bottom of whatever the hell's going on and who let this woman—Kat, apparently—into the Five-0, but Kat shuts him down every time. "If I wanted to be patronised by an adult male wearing cargo pants," she says without looking over at him, "I'd just go find the nearest frat house and call it a day."

Forget the best day of Danny's life: it's possible that he's actually in love.

Steve tries again. "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but unless you have police business here I'm going to have to ask you to le—"

"Not until I've talked to Bianca," Kat says, folding her arms.

"Kat!" Jenna shrieks in horror, hands on her hips. "What the hell is your actual damage? I thought you'd decided to be an actual human, like, ten years ago." Chin's full on biting his lip now, and Steve's brow is so furrowed that his eyebrows meet in the middle.

 _Bianca_ , Danny mouths in disbelief, because... Bianca? Maybe he could just cancel his cable and entertain himself for the rest of his life, sitting on his couch and staring at the wall, replaying his memories of this day.

"Okay!" Steve barks, clearly having decided that the only way to manage this is to go into full-on Navy SEAL commander mode. "Enough! Nothing else is going to happen here until we all get an explanation. Right now. You first," he says, pointing at Kat.

Jenna folds her arms, looks at the floor; Kat's jaw tightens. "Bianca vanished five years ago. She stopped calling, stopped answering emails—"

"I went into the CIA!" Jenna says, "My assignment required that—"

Kat punches her in the upper arm. Danny knows, with the long familiarity born of years of sibling squabble, that the force is calculated just so, so that it stings but won't bruise. "We thought you were dead! Dad thought you'd joined a _commune_ , and after years of nothing, I go backpacking in Thailand and randomly meet someone who has a snapshot with you in it? What the hell?"

"I told you!" Jenna says, and there's a quirk to her body language that Danny's never seen before; a cant to her hips and an impatient slice to the movement of her hands. "I was working, I was undercover, I had a whole new life! It's not like you were hurrying back home from Sarah Lawrence all that often, you know."

"I thought you were dead," Kat says again, and all the anger is gone from her voice, replaced by something much more raw, and Danny has absolutely no idea why _that's_ the moment they choose to hug, but what the hell: this is better than that _Downton Abbey_ shit that Chin's addicted to.

When there's been an awkward silence in the room for a couple of minutes, Danny clears his throat and says, "... Bianca?" Frankly, he thinks he deserves an award for holding out that long.

"Jenna's my middle name," Jenna says, her voice muffled by the fall of her sister's hair, like that explains everything.

"Ah," Danny says sagely. Steve just shrugs and rolls his eyes.

**********

They end up taking the day, because the chance of getting anything productive done has clearly been shot to hell. Steve makes the command decision that they're going to head to _Pelekai's_ , the little bar down the street that serves fries so good that even he can never resist filching a couple of them from Danny's plate. They take over a booth in the corner, the waitstaff seeming to understand without having to be told that it's essential to keep the beer coming. 

Jenna still looks a little spooked, pale under her burgeoning Hawaiian tan, but her smile seems easy and genuine. Kat, once the first flush of anger fades from her system, turns out to be funny, with a warm laugh that looks like it startles her every time it bubbles out of her throat; she takes Steve to task about the US military and bullshit, reductive definitions of masculinity; gets into an involved discussion with Chin about _The Feminine Mystique_.

Kono shows up just after one, alerted to their location by the text Steve had sent her as soon as he thought the Hankins trial might be over. Kat eyes her warily at first—Jenna (Bianca? That's never not going to be weird) had told her straight off that she and Kono were dating, and it's clear that the gay thing was a surprise—but she seems won over by the firmness of Kono's handshake, and the level of appreciation Kono shows for the family snapshots that Kat's scanned into her iPhone.

"You wore a pink two-piece silk and tulle dress to the _prom_?" Kono hiccups. "Oh my god, I can't even get you to wear a tankini and... are those _pearls_?"

Everyone is appreciative, though, of the set of photos which show a young Jenna punching some guy in the face before kneeing him in the balls. The photograph captured the perfect moment: the look on Jenna's face determined, the guy's expression caught in a silent howl as he collapses to the floor.

"Nice form!" Danny says, whistling softly. "You've been holding out on us."

"Aww," Kono says, beaming, "That's my girl."

"Joey Donner," Kat says. "Total slimeball. His nose never set properly, you know. It finished his modelling career, and he ended up dropping out of college. Now he's a used car salesman who lives in Spokane."

"Well," Jenna says, "what else was I supposed to do? He was a total dick, and he hurt my boyfriend _and_ my sister. He was totally worth bruising my knuckles on."

Kono smacks a kiss on her cheek—and Steve wonders how much Jenna had told Kono about her past, for Kono to seem so unfazed by it all—and says, "So, Kat, you came into town by yourself?"

"Yeah," Kat says, shrugging. "My boss is pretty good about time off for family stuff. I mean, I'm a project co-ordinator with Planned Parenthood so my schedule's sort of flexible, but my partner Patrick runs his own business and it's tougher for him to get time off."

"Wait," Jenna says, waving a hand in the air, "wait, wait, Patrick has his own business? Patrick _Verona_?"

"Well, he has a license to sell medical marijuana?" Kat says, swirling one of her fries through the glob of ketchup on her plate. "It's not exactly Fortune 500, but we do live in Berkeley, so."

"We'll just have to show you the island, then," Kono says. "Surfing on the North Shore, maybe one of the tourist luaus that's not so hokey? Or… or Kamekona's shrimp truck. That's sort of like a cultural experience, right?" She looks to the rest of the group for back up.

"I, personally?" Danny says, pressing one hand to his chest, "I would classify it more as a religious experience, on how inevitably I end up clutching my stomach and calling on any friendly deities within three to four hours of eating there and—"

"I'm sure we can find something you'll enjoy," Chin cuts in, and Steve's never been so glad to have an _everything's better in Jersey_ rant cut off at the pass.

"Well," Kat says, shifting a little in her seat. Steve knows a guilty sibling look when he sees one. "I flew in by myself but, well… Dad's going to get here tomorrow."

" _What_?"

"Like I could keep this from him? He really thought you'd joined a cult and changed your name to Moonshine."

Jenna puts her head in her hands. "This is going to be the most embarrassing day of my life."

"But like," Kat says, putting on a falsetto, Valley-girl accent, "what about the time you and Chastity, like, totally wore the same pair of Sketchers to school?"

Jenna throws a French fry at her.

**********

Someone suggests that it might make for an easier meeting if Kat and Kono pick up Dr Stratford from the airport and bring him over to Steve's house, which, Danny's all in favour of minimising the awkwardness here. There's the lanai, the beach, the possibility of some surf and turf on the grill and the probability of privacy. It's much better for Jenna to see her dad for the first time in a couple of years here than in the crowded arrivals hall of Honolulu International. 

The good doctor isn't much like Danny expected: dressed conservative, sure, hair and nails neat and a tasteful watch on his wrist, about Danny's height. Still, the first thing he says on getting out of Kono's car and hugging his youngest daughter is, "Bianca! Your sister tells me you're a lesbian now!"

Over his shoulder, Jenna makes an appalled face. Steve's lower lip quivers and he looks down his nose the way he always does when he's trying not to laugh.

Scratch the deliberations about the best day of Danny's life: this is, hands down, shaping up to be the best _week_ of his life.

"Hi Dad," Jenna says. "This is Kono, my girlfriend. Chin and Danny, I work with them, and this is my boss, Steve. Guys, this is my dad, Walter Stratford."

Stratford shakes hands with all of them, with all the force of a man who desperately wants you to think that he's all testosterone alpha-male dominance. Danny just smiles politely back at him and pointedly doesn't make any attempt to increase the strength of his own grip; he already knows that that's what Steve will instinctively do, and he'd prefer not to be tarred with the same brush, thanks so much.

"Well," Stratford says, when he's finally worked his way around the circle to shake hands with Kono. He beams up at her. "I didn't bring the empathy belly with me, Bianca, but I do still have it, and if this is a serious relationship the two of you have got going here, I can have it Fedexed over."

Kat rolls her eyes; Danny guesses that this is a Thing they're hearing about here.

"I know an unplanned pregnancy isn't really the issue right now," Stratford continues, "but it's not like I don't see any lesbians in my line of work. Nice ladies, sensible shoes, and sweetie, if you ever want to go the turkey baster route—"

"Oh my god," Jenna says. Kono's eyes go wide. _Not as well prepared as she thought she was, huh_ , Danny thinks.

"Uh, you know, sir," Steve says, jerking a thumb back in the direction of the lanai. "I've got some steak out back ready to go on the grill. Why don't we all head back there and—"

Stratford steps up so that he's standing toe-to-toe with Steve. It's like watching one of those small, yappy dogs take on a giraffe. "Sir, eh?" He peers at Steve. "You're military?"

"Yes, sir," Steve says, clearly unable to keep the note of pride out of his voice. "Navy SEAL reserve."

"Navy, huh?" Stratford's eyes narrow; he pokes Steve in the chest. "Well let me tell you something, buster. I've been around military bases! I've seen _Top Gun_! I know how you Navy types roll, with your oiled muscles and your cat houses!"

 _Oiled muscles_? Chin mouths at Danny, disbelief written all over his face.

 _Cat houses_! Danny mouths back. This is the most fun he's had since the time Steve met Rachel's grandma.

**********

Steve had been planning a productive weekend: maybe doing the Puu Manamana hike on Saturday morning, fixing up the gutters on Saturday afternoon, grocery shopping on Sunday. Instead, the small stretch of beach at his house has been taken over by Stratfords and Kalakauas, Williamses and Kellys, though Steve can't find it in himself to mind much. 

From where he's sitting, out on his board in the middle of a low rolling surf, Steve can catch the faint hint of charcoal smoke from the grill that Chin's tending, drifting out to sea to mingle with the bite of salt in the air. He can see, distantly, Kono giving Kat lessons on how to pop up on a surfboard; the pink-clad blur that is Grace Williams, working on burying her dad in the sand; Malia swimming closer to shore. Jenna's walking up the gentle slope of the lawn towards the house, the line of her back looking looser than Steve can ever remember seeing it before. It's a little more difficult to make out Walter Stratford, lying as he is underneath an umbrella, but that doesn't mean it's hard to imagine him, given the picture he presented when he'd walked outside that morning: black socks worn with clodhopper sandals, a thick layer of bright blue zinc oxide on his nose. 

As Steve catches a wave, lets the sea bear him up and carry him back home, he thinks of the strange and marvellous lengths which some people will go to for family; grins when his toes dig into the clean, soft sand and jogs back up to meet the others.

**********

Monday morning, the two Stratfords fly back to Seattle. Danny goes with Jenna to wave goodbye to them in the departures hall, to smile with fixed politeness as Walter bemoaned the shoddy construction of the luggage carts provided, to distract him with commiserations over the terrible woes that went with being a father while Kat and Jenna hugged one another goodbye. All things considered, it takes them a long time to wave the Stratfords off, for Danny to locate his emergency dad supply of Kleenex in a pocket to give to Jenna, and for them to make it back through the crush of people to where Steve is waiting at the car. 

It's not an insignificant length of time, you understand, which is why Danny is surprised to find Steve sitting disconsolately on the hood of the car, still wearing the Belly. 

"Is the plane in the air?" Steve says when he sees them. "Can I take it off now?"

"I'm so sorry, Steve," Jenna says for what has to be the tenth time, wrapping her arms around herself. "I thought he was joking when he said he'd have it Fedexed over here, but I should have known."

"Babe," Danny says, half honest affection and half total bewilderment, poking Steve in the soft middle of the Empathy Belly, "what am I gonna do with you, huh?"

"Definitely not impregnate me in an unplanned manner," Steve says in a hangdog manner.

"Damn straight," Danny says as they get back into the car, "Seriously, Steve, take off the damn belly, we made the local news enough last week."

"Too late," Jenna says from the backseat. "I think Kono already tweeted a picture of it."

"Our lives," Danny says as he starts the car, "are not like other people's." Though of course, he thinks as they head back to Five-0, as Steve and Jenna bicker softly about data analysis and his phone buzzes with messages from Gracie, of course maybe that's not such a bad thing at all.

  
  



End file.
